Matt Haines

THESE DRUGS THOSE DRUGS

I went to the doctor the other day.
He said “ I’ve got something for you
It’ll make you sleep at night and help your worrying too.
…In a week or three”
So I went home and I sat down
Read that list of side effects
Then I washed one of those bitter suckers down.

“Oh little pill, help me” I said
As the lights went dim
“Little pill won’t you make me
A better human being”

These drugs are good, those ones a bad
These’ll make you stuff your face
These will make you sad
These ones will convince you that you want to kill
Take your clothes off and march to the top of a hill.

So I went round to see my mate, she said
“What the hell are you thinkin’ man, 
Those things will block your chakras
And make your breath smell too”
“But I’ve got just the thing you need
South American tribes 
Been using these for centuries
To reach their gods.”

“Oh little fungus, free me” I said
As the walls began to melt
“And while you’re at it could you fix my aching head?
Won’t you please?”

These drugs are good, those ones are bad.
These one make you forget, and those ones make you fat.
Old ones been piling up on the bathroom shelf.
Those ones I can’t pronounce prescribed for somebody else.

These drugs are bad, those ones are worse.
Blue ones go forward, the yellow ones do reverse.
Those ones got tested on monkeys and rats.
These ones are illegal cos they’ll sending you f**king mad.
Oh they’ll send you mad.
© Matt Haines

These Drugs, Those Drugs

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HOME FOR TEA

I can remember planning when I was five years old or less
That I’d be running away down the road the first chance I had
I’d make a little home there way down in the leaves in the park
Or I’d climb into the branches of the sycamore tree
Or I’d be packing my toys in an old pillow case
I was making my way to the door when she said:
“Won’t you miss, won’t you miss us, won’t you miss, won’t you get lonely?”
“That’s okay,” I said “Mum. Cos I’ll be coming home for tea.”
“Won’t you miss us, won’t you miss us, won’t you miss us, won’t you get lonely?”
“That’s okay,” I said “Mum. Cos I’ll be coming home for tea.”

It’s ten years on. we think we’re tough, swearing, smoking, wearing too much Brylcreem
And we spent all our paper money down the amusement arcade
So “Come on, Come on, Come on,” you said let’s just keep riding all the way
We’ll drink your mother’s best whisky down the beach there till morning
And the first sip it hit me like a jolt to my brain,
Or the slap that I got when I returned home again.
“Won’t you miss, won’t you miss us, won’t you miss, won’t you get lonely?”
“That’s okay,” I said “Mum. Cos I’ll be coming home for tea.”
“Won’t you miss us, won’t you miss us, won’t you miss us, won’t you get lonely?”
“That’s okay,” I said “Mum. Cos I’ll be coming home for tea.”

© Matt Haines

Home for Tea